Speaker 1: 0:00

Okay, hey guys, welcome back to the Certain Success Podcast. Matt and Joe here with special guest our friend from up North in Michigan, Melissa Hughes. What's up?

Speaker 2: 0:15

So good to be here, super excited for the show.

Speaker 1: 0:19

Well, you know you're one of those people that I always look to for insight, and you know you've been a loyal listener to the Certain Success podcast, and you know, joe and I have been going down this crazy road talking about the journey in business with Christ and what that looks like, and I know that that resonates with your heart. So before we dig in, though, can you just tell everybody, for our listeners, a little bit about Melissa?

Speaker 2: 0:55

Yeah, yeah. So I help business owners grow their personal brand online and getting booked on stage. So I'm like your messaging person, your story work person, and I got into this from a word that I felt God speak to me about posting videos online back in 2021. The very first video that I posted got 22 million views and I ended up on the Kelly Clarkson show and at that point I had never really done content.

Speaker 2: 1:28

I wasn't a social media person, I didn't even really know that entrepreneurship was something that was in me, but God just kind of took me by the hand and started putting the right people in my life, giving me the right strategies. I grew an account to 250,000 followers on TikTok and then entered into this world of entrepreneurship, helping people grow their brand, and it's been super fun and I feel like I just did a post today actually talking about just the importance of showing up authentic online and in our walk with God, because people just, I think, are sick of seeing people's highlight reel, because people just, I think, are sick of seeing people's highlight reel and I want to see entrepreneurs really dig in to who God's called them to be and showcase that to the world.

Speaker 1: 2:15

That's awesome. Yeah, you know, before we hit record, you were talking about identity, which you and I have talked at length about, and you know how fundamentally important it is to get clear about that, and I think it's, if anything, it's harder right now because there's so much buzz around that word and I think people get confused about where that comes from. So, can you speak to that a little bit? And you know how do you and how do you see that and maybe how do you coach people around that.

Speaker 2: 2:50

Yeah. So I'll share a story, because I think stories are ways people learn lessons and remember things. But when I was 19, I had just gotten saved, gotten filled with the Holy Spirit, really walking in the New Testament revelation of who God was, and I was working really hard, matt and Jill. I mean, I was really trying to be a super Christian. I was trying to pray for people on the street and read my Bible and, you know, do all the things, and I didn't feel like I was doing a really great job. And this one day I had prayed for someone on the street and said something I shouldn't have said out of my you know enthusiasm and got in my car and just had a big pity party for myself. Like, oh my gosh, melissa, I can't believe you said that. Why did you think that was a good thing to say? You totally misrepresented God, like you suck, basically.

Speaker 2: 3:52

And in the midst of my pity party, I truly felt like God, like I had this picture of like God putting his chin in his hand and like looking at me. And he just said these words Melissa, you are my ferocious babe, and I knew it was from God, because I never would have strung those two words together. I didn't. I didn't even, I wasn't even trying to hear from God. But he just interrupted my thoughts and I thought wait a second, I don't feel ferocious, I feel stupid and I don't feel like your babe, I feel like a loser. And I just started to get this revelation that God sees me differently than I see myself, and the importance of lining my thoughts, my actions, my words up with what he says. And so when we talk about, like people knowing their identity in Christ, I think it's so important to ask that question have you asked God what he thinks about you and how he sees you? Because even when we look at the Bible, we've seen Moses, he he saw himself as someone who was a murderer and a loser, right, someone that really messed up.

Speaker 1: 5:08

You're nailing it with that story, right? The difference between who I think I am, which isn't always great, like what did you say you know I suck, which is probably the predominant thought for most people. Yeah, and who does God say you are? And and I love how you landed that piece about how it's like I never would have said that about myself, right, like that's where that you click and go that with me. And that was probably god. Yes, it was positive. You know nothing unscriptural about it. Probably god, not one of the other boys.

Speaker 1: 5:44

And uh, now I want to. I want to talk about joe because, uh, joe did like last three days he's just been like helping people move uh, or struggle with the hurricane recovery. And I was texting him yesterday morning and I said I said because he hasn't, he hasn't really come out with like this is what I think my identity is. So I said, um, I said you have one of the most uh kind hearts of any any person I've ever met in my life, joe. And I said I'm changing your name, my phone, because I put people's weird names in my phone for people. So I'm changing my name in my phone for joe to gentle heart until you tell me something else that god says is your your identity? So I so I don't know. I kind of cheated, I'm like I'm pushing an identity on him, um, but that's uh, yeah, it's got to come from yeah it's got to come from up, from up there, right.

Speaker 2: 6:33

Yeah, yeah, and I think that's how we know, at least for me, that's how I knew it was from the Lord, because I was like I never would have put those words together and it brought this immense peace and hope and comfort to me and I remember just crying in my car. So I think that's a really good prayer. A good step is for anyone listening, like take time, and you might not get it in the moment right when you're like praying and asking, it's not going to like immediately come to you. That doesn't mean you don't hear from God. I think it's just asking and being open in the next couple of days, weeks, months, as you ask God what do you really think about me? How do you see me? How should I identify? Which is a real big topic for a lot of people.

Speaker 1: 7:19

Well, and it has to, it has to resonate right, when, when, when god called you that, I bet it. It sunk and you're like, yeah, you know, when I'm at my best, that resonates with who I am, you know, and, and it and it, and it fills you with with joy and you go, yeah, like I can rise to be that you know. Uh, so for, for for me, the the closest. There've been a few interesting statements, but, um, but cliff jumper is my, my number one, my go-to, like God says you're a cliff jumper and I'm like you know what? That's exactly who I am. Like when I met my absolute best and you know, so that's what you know, that grounding of like you hear it and you go, yeah, that's it, you know. So that's what you know, that grounding of like you hear it and you go, yeah, that's it, you know. What do you think, joe? What are you thinking about?

Speaker 3: 8:09

Oh, I'm still going back to that, your nickname for me because the next morning after all those, after three days of healthy people knock down drywall, pull up their floors, just destroying their houses even further. Down drywall, pull up their floors, just destroying their houses even further, I said you can now name me broken back. You go from kind hearted to heartbroken to just. You just don't have anything else to feel anymore because you're just going through the emotion of watching people lose everything. And I think that's you know to anyone who's listening.

Speaker 3: 8:47

I had a moment of prayer as you talked about Melissa, I had a chance to pray with this older couple living in an absolutely stunning multi-million dollar home on the water and they were standing there helpless. They have none of their kids are nearby and they didn't know the next step and the only thing I could think of doing was putting my arms around them and praying with them. I said, Well, let's just start with prayer, let's, let's start there. And and Mary Lou, the wife of you know, close to 55 years, with her husband just started breaking down and crying, to 55 years, with her husband just started breaking down and crying, and I think what I pulled from that and from what you just said, you would have never called yourself ferocious, babe.

Speaker 3: 9:32

I don't think we're all out there making nicknames for ourselves. It's what we reveal to others, that they come up with those thoughts because they see us in how we are in real life, Not not what we build up in our, in that six inches between our ears. And it's not like you're trying to do it for for show or look at what I'm doing. That's not what you're doing. It's this is how God wired me and I really want to do it well and I want to please God. And then that's when he taps you down and he puts his hand under his chin and he looks down on that beautiful little face of Melissa and says you're my ferocious babe and I've got such big plans for you and don't you worry about a thing.

Speaker 2: 10:15

Yeah, 100% yeah. Can I share another story?

Speaker 3: 10:20

Sure.

Speaker 2: 10:23

This is another great question that people who are listening could go away and ask, or maybe some friends that are close to them. But I was in this conversation with someone a couple years ago and he was frustrated and he was like man, if everybody could just be who they are in the body of Christ, we wouldn't have any problems. And I was like, okay, well, we started playing this game. It's like okay, well, who do you think so-and-so would be? He's like oh, that's easy, they'd be the mind. I'm like why would they be the mind of Christ? He's like oh, because they always have strategy and the way that they think and the way that they process. Like they'd be the mind. I'm like oh, that's kind of interesting, that's true. So I started going through all these people. What about so-and-so Like? Oh, easy, he'd be the muscle. Like, oh, the muscle. Why would he be the muscle? He's like because he's just like a pillar and he can take strength, like he's strong and he can take weight, and he's just like a pillar in the church, like he's immovable. I'm like man, that's so good.

Speaker 2: 11:22

So I finally plucked up enough courage and I said hey, what about me? What do you think I would be, he goes easy. You'd be the smile, You'd be the smile of God. And I cannot even tell you the amount of freedom that I experienced in that moment, cause secretly, I kind of always wanted to be the mind and I felt like I wasn't enough. Being a smile or the muscles seemed really cool.

Speaker 2: 11:51

But when he said that, I was like that's it, that's all I need to be is a smile.

Speaker 2: 11:56

And if I could just be that and I could do that really really good, then I would be pleasing God. And so to me, that is personal branding, and so from that point I was like is my room, like my business, does it reflect a smile? Does my website reflect a smile? When I'm interacting with people, do they feel a smile? So I wear bright clothes because I feel like it makes people happy and it's just completely changed the way I show up in the world because I realize like I'm the smile. And so a great way to find your identity in God is to ask people around you hey, if I was, like you know, a body, part in the body of Christ, what would I be and why and I've asked my clients this question to do this exercise? You would not believe the transformation that people get and how it sets people free, because we all secretly wish we were a different part. Right, we appreciate the other parts than ourselves, but it's so cool to like identify that and just live in that lane and stay exactly who you are.

Speaker 1: 13:01

That's so good. So, joe's the heart. I already decided, yeah, for sure, the heart. But you're totally right, and you always want to be. We all want to look over this like a grass is greener thing. We're like man. I wish I was the muscle or whatever. But once you really settle into you, this is who I am and this is where I'm going to live from, and it just empowers you to go forward. And I think in the business context, we were talking about this before we hit record today too, of just these, you know, shifts in understanding and worldview, of that right there, that's a, that's a worldview, like I understand who I am, in the, in the, in the body of christ, exactly what my identity is, and if I could just stay in this lane right here, my business and everything else is going to advance faster, and I think it's. It's such a simple thing but yet, you know, profound and fundamentally hard to grip unless you know, somebody helps you with it.

Speaker 2: 14:05

Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 3: 14:07

I think there's so many times that we get distracted. One of the things that just happened on this call is the baby started crying behind you and I was looking at both of you on the screen saying both of you stay in the lane, stay, you're on target, don't move away from your message. And you both did it and I'm wondering if anyone has to go back and listen because they had a hard time keeping their attention to that conversation because there was a baby in the background. And I think in life and business it's even the smallest distractions that we miss the opportunity, we miss the point that was supposed to be made for us.

Speaker 3: 14:47

And when you were talking about you know really Christ stepping and looking down and putting his hand under his chin and telling you you're a ferocious babe. He was treating you like a babe. And that's when that baby was crying and I was like man. There couldn't have been a more perfect moment for that baby to start crying in that restaurant where you crying, and I was like man. There couldn't have been a more perfect moment for that baby to start crying in that restaurant where you are. And I'm thinking I hope people really stayed focused. I hope they were listening through that, because that is such an easy thing for all of us to do is to get distracted and stay in our lane.

Speaker 1: 15:21

Well, I want to flip it to the negative too, because I think another really cool way to sort of get some confirmation when you get insight into your identity is you you. It resonates with you like we talked about, in a way that you're like, yes, that's always been true of me, and what you find when you really dig into it is you is you've recognized that the enemy's been lying to you about that all the time, like he's. He's actually been attacking that before you even knew what ferocious babe was, he was. He's been telling you all along that you're not that and when, the more you start to understand that, the more it resonates he's like that is exactly who I am and he'd been lying to me, you know. Do you get that?

Speaker 2: 16:05

Oh yeah, 100%. And it's funny because I feel like God speaks to who we are and a lot of times I swear if I would write a book, this would be the next one. It would be you're an imposter, because because that is how it feels when sometimes we receive our identity is we feel like an imposter, but it's actually our divine design and I think that the enemy loves to come after our uniqueness and he loves to come after the areas in our life that you know. The Bible says that when I'm weak I'll be strong, right. Well, how do we become strong? We allow the power of God to rest on our weakness Because if we, you know, whatever we're weak at, God can shine through.

Speaker 2: 16:56

But I think the enemy likes to play in that area and capitalize on our weaknesses and be like that's going to hold you back, that's going to keep you from the thing when, in reality, it's actually in our weakness that God is strong and so like, honestly, when I think about myself, the thing that I think of as far as ferocious babe, the lie is I'm fearful, I'm worried, I'm not enough, and the babe part to me speaks to being God's daughter, which is something that I really struggled with growing up was my relationship with my dad, and so, being a daughter of my dad, you know like he's speaking to like always be with you.

Speaker 2: 17:37

You're my girl, I got your back, I'm here for you, I'm never going to leave you. So I just like it was so profound and I just want to encourage people like if there's a lie that's been repetitive in your life, it's probably because that is the exact opposite of what God has for you and how he sees you and you probably, you probably won't recognize the lie until you start to wake up to your identity.

Speaker 1: 18:02

And then you go oh man, there's a, there's been this lie there the whole time. And you know, uh, if actually I just sent Joe something about Enneagram, you know, I've become so fascinated with Enneagram, you know, and like I, my and like my identity is cliff jumper, which is part of being an Enneagram seven. And there's always this like negative and positive side. So the negative side is I can be impulsive, I can, like, do things that are erratic, and, and so the enemy is always attacking that and going like, look, see, you did it again. You're so impulsive, and that's, that's a bad thing. But the flip side is, when I'm, when I I'm, when I'm aligned to who I am and I'm listening to christ, when I, it's a bravery to jump, a willingness to jump that most people don't have, and so there's two sides of the same coin. It can be spun negative really easily. But you know, when you're doing it right, you're doing alignment with christ, you're, this is my, this is my goal, and he's been lying to me about it the whole time.

Speaker 2: 19:01

Yes, that's so good. I love that that's so accurate yeah.

Speaker 3: 19:11

What do you think, joe? Well, I think that everything that we've said so far, I think Melissa, just the walk that you're on, I mean, if you want an idea of meeting Melissa in person, she is the smile she really is when she walks into the room, she lights it up. She does have this thing where she loves to wear pink and she owns it, and so it's her identity that she's embraced, and I think that is the. If there is anything that anyone takes from any of this, this is we have to be better about embracing that, that wiring that God has given us.

Speaker 3: 19:48

And it's the evil one who's saying no, you're not. That it's. It's saying yes to God and no to the devil and just saying, yes, god, I hear you and I believe you, I trust you, I lean on you. And the devil. You're just like kicking them off to the side and your whole body armor is on, and you're saying you know what? I have the shield of faith on. You can throw your darts all day long, but I still have god, and you don't, you know. So it's, it's that ferocious and it's it's that ferocious and that's the piece of you, that's your heart, your smile, that's what is your identifiers as you walk into a space or when you come through on, on everyone's earpieces. When they're listening to you, they're going to hear it loud and clear.

Speaker 1: 20:35

That's awesome. Thanks, joe, I love that. Yeah, I totally, I totally agree. And I think, if you know, guys, if you're listening to this and this is all new conversation to you and you're like I don't know what my identity is, think about that thing. That that's that you think is true of you. That's negative, that you that's like what's the thing that you're always feeling beaten down about and you're like I suck because this like what what melissa was saying at the start, and look there, ask god about that, because you might find that your identity is right there and just being you, just being attacked all the time yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 21:16

And and I, you know, I think about my husband. He's very opposite to me, like we would say like if I'm like sunshine, he's a stormy day Because he's so like he's a lightning bolt. He's going to be super honest, transparent. He won't care if it hurts your feelings. It's the truth. You need to hear it. I'm loving you by being honest, like that's who he is. You need to hear it. I'm loving you by being honest, like that's who he is. But you know one of the things that he said with I asked him this weekend because he's so to me, very authentic and sometimes the smile, like my downfall can be.

Speaker 2: 21:52

I don't like to see the negative right and so coming across authentic it can. Sometimes the smile team seems too like too good to be true and I struggled to look at the negative. So I asked my husband this week and I'm like you're, like one of the most authentic people I know, what would you say would be like the key to authenticity? He was like, oh, it's like you have to be so comfortable with your failures, just so comfortable with your shortcomings, all this stuff that, like you think you're really bad at. He's like just own it. Why don't you just own it? I'm like man, I'm so bad at that, so bad at that. But, um, what you're saying, though, matt and Joe, about like what's the things that you're not good at, that is a part of your brand.

Speaker 2: 22:39

And let me just like share a quick story. Even this, right now we're doing this podcast, right, I brought my headphones, but I did not charge them because I just I just didn't prioritize, I just forgot that is so on brand for me, like so on brand. I put on fake nails, right, right, and I was like, oh, I'm going to wear these fake nails and try and like, really like, look professional, look really good. They fell off because they didn't do it right, and so I'm walking around with, like, some nails are on, some nails are off. I just look unprofessional, right, kind of undone.

Speaker 2: 23:11

A couple of years ago, I would have been so embarrassed by that and told myself this story like man, why can't I be more put together? Or by that, and told myself this story like man, why can't I be more put together? Or, you know, professional, when really the truth is, that's like I'm the smile I'm meant to. Like I should laugh it off, like it's. Have a laugh, be comfortable with yourself, right, it's okay.

Speaker 2: 23:32

That is so like my messaging, and so I think like there's something to like looking at the things that you're embarrassed about that you think like make you less than when really like if we could just lean into that and own it like it's on brand for me I'm going to probably somehow it might not be perfect and that there's actually freedom in the imperfection and that's part of who I am. That's the message that you're going to get from me. So I think, when you're talking about like your identity, like own, own all of it, the good, bad and the ugly it makes you who you are, and the the the reason why people would want to work with you.

Speaker 1: 24:09

Yeah, and I think you you also kind of put a shine, a big light on something that might seem obvious to a lot of people or trite, but it's this not caring about what anybody else thinks other than God, and that's part of identity too. It's like I know who I am and that makes you care so much less about what everybody else is talking about.

Speaker 2: 24:35

Yeah, yeah. And it's not to say that like when you have shortcomings, you don't choose to grow in those areas or whatever. But we all have things, quirks, things about us, that just we, we, you know. If you want to build a strong brand, I think it's just being really aware of who you are and who you are not. Who you're for and who you're for, not what pisses you off and what you love, and just having so much self-awareness and ownership and not trying to be anything that you're not and that's okay.

Speaker 2: 25:10

Jesus, last thing I'll say about this Jesus was the best at this. You want to know. What I love about Jesus Is when he was on planet earth, he had all these naysayers right, all these people that were like what are you doing? I mean, they literally were so pissed off at Jesus that they crucified him. We want to know what his response was to all the religious people. I didn't come for you. I didn't come for you. I came for the broken. I came for the sick. I came for the hurting. Those are my people. If you're uppity and you're religious and you think you've got it all together like you're not ready for this, you're not ready for this and it pissed him off so much.

Speaker 2: 25:49

they crucified him because he had such a clear message. And so, when we're talking about identity, there is so much to like owning who you're for the people that you're meant to reach and the people that you're not. It might piss some of those people off because they're not your people, and I think, as a believer, honestly that is what we're truly meant to do. The gospel is offensive. There should be something about us that is offensive to the people that we're not called to reach.

Speaker 3: 26:20

Exactly. And before Christ said it is finished, he said forgive them, father, for they do not know what they do. And that's where we all land, where all the naysayers out there, all the imposter syndromes that we walk around with, thinking that you know I wonder what they're thinking about me. That needs to go out the window. What they think about us doesn't matter. What our Christ thinks about us and how he wired us and how he developed our minds and our hearts to be in this lifetime. That's how we have to be and as far as those that aren't in our, they're not part of our tribe of thinking and they're not there to rally around us. We just, we love on them, we forgive their, we forgive them and move on. You know we don't go up to them and physically forgive them, but we just, we move on with our lives and we, and we know we're going to do our best of being ourselves.

Speaker 2: 27:18

Yeah totally.

Speaker 1: 27:19

That's so good. I think that's a wrap for today, guys. Melissa, thank you so much for being with Joe and I on the Certain Success Podcast.

Speaker 3: 27:30

Thanks, Melissa.

Speaker 2: 27:31

Thank you.